"Ladies and Gents, welcome to the most stomach-flopping, hair twisting, face distorting rollercoaster around! The ride moves fast and takes sharp turns, so please,fasten your safety harnesses and keep limbs inside the car at all times..and of course, don't forget to enjoy the ride..."
So there's my little Carny-ish disclaimer. My life is VERY much like a ride when it comes to MC, complete with the stomach-flipping drops at the blink of an eye.
I never know which way is up with this man, and it's getting to the point where I feel I must tread lightly around him. One minute he loves me and it's kissy kissy baby baby, the next, he barely squeaks out two words to me, and if he does, it's to tell me I hold him back from his life.

I feel like I'm always kissing up to him just to keep the peace and I hate that. The ass kisser of the whole thing is that he KNOWS he is wishy washy like that, but doesn't know how to fix it.
Bottom line: I'm emotionally exhausted.
I don't know how he does it. I love this man with everything I have, but once in a while he will do something so amazing that I'm almost lightheaded and I fall for him even more. These days it's how he is with my daughter; MC is an artist, and a damn talented one at that. My 9 year old is a budding artist herself, and it seems that MC has found in her a little apprentice. Now he is asking to take her with him to his friends' houses when he goes (they are also an artistic group) so he can show her off with the work she's done. He is so proud of her and never fails to tell me how much he loves her, which is a very big deal being that her father bailed on her, so I've always been both parents to her and she's never really had a "dad" figure. So of course, I've got stars in my eyes for him whenever he waxes on about her. He even wants to take HER with him to his family reunion in July...to Texas. (I live in IL) He didn't even invite ME!! How crazy is that?
He does all this and claims to love me and my "baggage", so I just don't understand when he goes off on the other side of the spectrum. Damn these sharp turns!
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